Over the past several decades our pets have moved from being just “an animal that” shared our space without the intellect, emotion or response of humans to being “a companion who” responds in meaningful emotional and behavioral ways different from us but just as critical to their well-being. At the same time our study and understanding of their health has increased far beyond everyday care, given them more years of healthy life, and included us, their caretakers, in their caregiving.

Every positive opportunity introduces its burden of decision, though. Just because we can, should we? Can I do this? Am I able to treat them in the way that’s recommended? Emotionally? Financially? Would they change toward me because of this care? Does my animal companion really want this? Or is it just me?

Our experiences with human caregiving

While humans have faced these questions through the ages with human family with chronic or terminal illnesses, disabilities and mental health conditions, the advantages of modern medicine have made caregiving more effective but more complicated and the long-term physical and emotional toll is well documented.

Caregiving for our animal companions, downsides and upsides

I recently read an article by Zazie Todd, PhD, in her column “Fellow Creatures” in Psychology Today in which she discusses that while we extol the benefits of pets in our lives their presence also has downsides. Caregiving for our animal companions during chronic or terminal illnesses or behavioral issues can result in difficult financial decisions, time and social constraints, and effects on our own health through stress, anxiety, and depression. We may also develop feelings of guilt and anger, all with little support available.

Yet studies show a positive side in pet caregiving compared to human caregiving that “finding meaning in the situation, feeling needed, and feeling confident and competent…were greater for companion animal carers.”

Caretaking can be especially difficult for cats

Todd is author of Purr: The Science of Making Your Cat Happy, and responded in an email, “Caring for a cat with a health or behavior issue can be really hard. It’s not just your own feelings of stress and worry about your pet, but also the very real aspects of finding time to take your cat to the vet (and the struggles of getting them there) and the financial aspects of affording care.”

She continued, “In some people, this can become caregiver burden, just like what can happen to someone who is caring for another person. It can be even more difficult if people say, ‘it’s just a cat,’ because they don’t understand. Luckily these days there is more awareness of the importance of the human-cat bond, but it’s a reminder to take care of yourself in order to take good care of your cat.”

Personal experience with caregiving

I have given care to human family members, but not to the extent of my feline family of rescues and fosters over the decades, sometimes more than one cat, all with different needs, simultaneously. One of my first veterinarians taught me the basics and supported me ongoing. Being hands-on with an emergency, chronic or terminal illness, knowing she was available, made me feel empowered, confident I understood the condition and the treatments, that I could give them in a timely way when symptoms changed or know it was time for emergency care, and that my cat was maybe not happy for the treatment but comfortable with me. When the inevitable loss would come there were always doubts and questions, but overall I would feel I had done all I could and that the time was right.

But caregiving was also stressful and frightening. The amount of time we spend can make us feel isolated as our lives focus on caring for our animal companion even though we love them deeply. It may require expenses we don’t have leading to difficult decisions and guilt and pain. All this can result in physical and mental health consequences. During a recent series of losses my morning blood pressure readings, even with medication, could be pretty scary and once sent me to urgent care.

The psychology of caregiving

“Caregiving is so much more than the things you actually do for your pet. It’s the constant monitoring of how they’re doing, making sure you’re keeping what they need on the proper schedule, even when that means curtailing or missing out on some things for yourself,” said retired LCSW, Elizabeth Babcock. She has some specialty in pet loss issues and is also a friend who I met through a Pet Memorial Sunday ceremony where she presented on the nature of grief.

Also a serial adopter of rescued felines and even a horse, she added, “How they’re doing becomes the mental backdrop for everything else you do and how you organize your own time. Then there is the mission creep of whatever treatment you started with, then periodically having to add some new medication, or an additional dose, to where coordinating it all ends up taking much more bandwidth than you may have expected, and the caregiving itself can grow to occupy much more of your time as your pet’s needs evolve.

She added, “It’s so much more complex and demanding than it appears at first glance. I think few people realize how fully they have dedicated themselves to it until afterward, when they realize the many things they no longer have to do or think about, all combined with grieving the companion they loved enough to do all of that for.”

Ease your caregiver burden

Build a support network, from professionals like your veterinarian who can answer specific questions to friends you can message with your feelings in the moment, and try to keep yourself from becoming isolated.

And just take time to love your companion aside from all the treatments.

Resources

Zazie Todd, PhD, https://www.companionanimalpsychology.com/

Managing Caregiver Burden for People with Pets, Zazie Todd, PhD https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/fellow-creatures/202109/managing-caregiver-burden-people-pets

Caregiver burden and the client perspective on veterinary care, RCVS Knowledge. https://www.rcvsknowledge.org/resource/caregiver-burden-and-the-client-perspective-on-veterinary-care/